Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize