Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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