Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
