She just used a chaser for red wine.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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