Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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