Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize