I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
