we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
