i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
