May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
