I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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