I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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