tell your sister to shave her snatch
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Please don't give away my fajitas
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
