My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
