I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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