and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
