I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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