oh god the rape fog is back!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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