clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
