Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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