Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
