remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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