i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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