If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
