i think my mom watched the whole time
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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