Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
