reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
