i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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