Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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