You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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