Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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