i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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