Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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