is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
