Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How does one acquire holy water?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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