And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
