I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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