I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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