i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
