A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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