i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
