saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
