Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
