can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
