So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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