Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
