Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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