I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
