exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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