she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
