Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Success! We fucked roommates!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
