Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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