Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
