He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
