Who did Billy Mays play for?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
