At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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