Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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